Total Recall

2012

Directed by Len Wiseman – Written by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel and Bryan Cranston

I’m sure you’ve heard they’ve taken a childhood favourite and remade it, oh the dread – which reminds me, check out my review of another childhood favourite this month in Dredd (2012). See what I did there? A note on it being a remake, it’s not like the original film and not like the short story, Philip K. Dick’s ‘We Can Remember It For You Wholesale.’ Count as a remake? Even though it clearly is.

First thing that annoys me; they call the company ‘Rekall.’ Why do that?

In comparison to the 1990 original, we have no trip to mars and have more political overtones, both are bad things. This is a Hollywood action flick, accept what you are and leave the politics alone. We also have no Schwarzenegger – that’s the first thing I’ve had to look up since writing this – who actually expressed a want for the role. I’d of at least liked to see him in a cameo.

Colin Farrell landed the title role for the film, ahead of Tom Hardy and Michael Fassbender no less (coincidentally the latter two were also overlooked for the part of Regan in Nick Love’s re-make of The Sweeney… he picked Ray Winstone instead). That’s three people who wanted the role and would have been better than a bland Farrell. It’s all a bit bland really, Kate Beckinsale gives the best performance, interesting considering she was originally only playing the three-breasted woman – yes thankfully they kept her.

I did enjoy the playing around with gravity, that does make for a couple of cool moments, but over all it’s pretty much one LONG chase scene which predictably gets boring quickly. Disappointing considering how much plot they had to work with.

This is just another example of CGI porn. How do you grade remakes over the originals? Which would you pick up to watch on any given evening? For me it’s the original, this takes itself way too seriously and I miss the Arnie one-liners.

4/10

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